In Miami, the easiest way to get into the best clubs and bars is to simply know the bouncer or one of the promoters. This way you can avoid the expensive cover fees, the stupidly strict dress codes, and the judgments made about your person at face value (that may result in a swift rejection at the door).  If either the establishment’s bouncer or promoter comes to pull back the line divider for you, signaling that you’re okay to go in, then you’ve made it through with your dignity and your bank account more or less unscathed.

In Switzerland things work a bit differently, especially in the visa department. The Swiss system is known for its sheer complexity and yet, somehow, F manages to get a Permit C (or settlement permit). I call the Permit C the “VIP Visa” because it is usually given to those that have been living in Switzerland anywhere between 5 to 10 years with a Permit B (the residence permit, a step down from the C). Somehow F has managed to get the C after being perhaps a total of 40 days in the country. EU nationals normally start off with an Permit B, category “EC”, which has a few more perks than the regular Permit B, and after 5 to 10 years of uninterrupted residence in Switzerland become eligible for the Permit C.

Having a Permit C means having the right to vote on local issues. You can’t vote at all in the United States until you become a naturalized U.S. citizen. Mind blown.

It would be nice to have one of the Swiss consular officers to vouch for me. That way I could avoid the expensive visa application fees, the stupidly strict application rules, and the judgments made about me at face value (that may result in a swift rejection at the door). Switzerland, the LIV of Europe.