This post is the third in a series of burger reviews (see my review of Inglewood and The Hamburger Foundation).

Whenever I go around raving about Inglewood (still my number one!), friends always retort “But Holy Cow! is sooo good.” This past Saturday, F and I tried it out for ourselves. From a glance at the menu, our venture seemed a promising one (lots of variety and flavor combinations). However, overcome with a ravenous hunger and wanting to go for the better deal, F and I decided we would try the 330g burger (only 5 CHF more than a regular burger, and a normal-sized hunk of meat by US standards), much to the staff’s dismay. We paid for our order and sat down at a table/bench. I told myself I wouldn’t judge the scent of old rag that emanated from the main counter or the small puddles of water (?) on the floor until I tried the burger itself.

Our burgers arrived in less than 60 seconds (is that really a good thing?):

Seems pretty innocuous…

When I peeked under the bun, I realized that there were not one but two burgers. Why advertise a 330g burger when what you serve is in fact two 165g burgers? Not cool. It was impossible to bite into that thing and I got sauce all over my hands. The bread did a terrible job at helping soak up anything. The worst part was that you could tell that the burgers were not fresh: they had that grainy, frozen burger quality – AND the sauces tasted exactly like something you get out of a Heinz ketchup and Heinz barbeque sauce bottle. Is it so hard to make your own sauce? Even McDonald’s does that!

A Ché bull? Honestly? Every cheap revolutionary reference recalls Ché in the absence of any real understanding of who he was and what he did. SMDH

The overall griminess of the place and the banality of the burger was only compounded by the cheesy decor and expensive price! Sorry Holy Cow! lovers but I would never recommend this place to anyone and I will make sure I never step foot inside another Holy Cow! establishment while in Geneva.

*Title cred goes to F, Master of Puns